Lots of arguments about rules. Games as written aren’t right, so we change them, but some argue whether they can be changed. It’s like poker. How many variations are there? I have played 6 or 7 in my life and still only make sense out of 5 card stud and 5 card draw. I haven’t ever read the rules for Texas Hold ‘Em, but watching snippets here and there, I don’t get it. Why not just stick with 5 card stud?

RPGs are the same way. Play what you like the way you like. If you aren’t having fun, your’e doing it wrong.

The simplest game my siblings and the kids in our neighborhood made up was called “Keep it Moving”. The only object required was a ball that we could throw, bounce, kick, etc. The playing area was how many ever yards we decided on, that is, my yard, the neighbor’s yard and whether or not anyone playing was allowed to play in the street or cross the street, or if old man so and so was home. There was no limit to the number of players.

There was one rule, keep the ball moving. If the ball stopped, we all counted while the nearest person to the ball went to knock it back into the area with the rest of the players, or the nearest player. We did not keep track of how high we counted. It was just a crude timer so that we could be as fast as we were able. I think we just gathered in closer and started again. No score, no time limit, no fouls, no tackling, (no intentional injury). Teenagers would play with 5 year olds. It was just fun, running, laughing, and having a good time. It was great exercise. Kids of all fitness levels and ball handling, kicking, throwing skills could play. Everyone that played that game had fun. The game ended when it got dark, or there weren’t enough kids left to play, or we all got so tired we just stopped.

There were no arguments about rules, no debates about going out of bounds, no need for referees. The older kids kept an eye on the younger kids. The older kids would get silly and do obvious major failures in ball handling to the giggles and glee of the younger kids. While no adults ever joined us, this is a game I wish I had shared with my own kids when they were younger. I guess I will have to share it with my granddaughter and get her father involved that way, but that’s still a few years off, since she is two weeks old today.

Most of us have our favorite RPG as the one we started with, like the first Doctor we watched with Dr. Who. But that’s not quite right. I started with Blue Book Holmes D&D, but AD&D is my favorite, but only the way I like it; i. e.  lots of rules ignored or streamlined, or changed in some way, or new rules added to fill gaps.

We all have our quirks and preferences and in different groups modify them to suit the particular group of people we are with. When I play with my brothers and the group we started with way back in junior high and high school, we have our way of doing it and there is little discussion only for clarification. My interpretation and preferences prevail when I DM with my sons, as they do not know all the rules, and just have fun playing. The weekly online AD&D game I’m in is fairly close to by the book, but some rules have faded from use as it just bogs things down, like weapon speed and all the fiddly bits with weapons. My knowledge and interpretation have helped with clarification, but not lead to my drothers prevailing. I am sure if I were to play with a group of experienced players for the first time, and we all agreed on AD&D, there might be questions about how the DM would do it, but we would come to some mutual agreement on how it should be done.

I haven’t played with teenagers other than my sons for over thirty years, but I would not put up with some of the immature teenage nonsense that some so-called mature adults display online. I don’t care what you are of any category, or what you believe about any topic, if we can agree to play a game with a mutually agreed ruleset in a setting that we can wrap our heads around, and have fun while doing it, then we are doing it right. I don’t have to agree with someone’s life experiences and the choices they make to play with them. I don’t always agree with my brothers, and we are polar opposites on many hot button issues, but we still love each other and can play AD&D together.

I have played with men and women, gay and straight, various ethnicities beyond my own, preteens to people in their 60’s and maybe older, in person, and online. (Don’t freak because I didn’t mention group X, Y, or Z. This isn’t a game to have the most complete list….) We all managed to have fun. However, if we all started talking about our religious beliefs, political beliefs, or sexual preferences, I am sure we would soon find out what each of our buttons are. Hopefully, we would be mature enough to have a civilized conversation and not throw it in each other’s faces and make a friendship impossible.

I find certain topics taboo in roleplaying. Acting out or roleplaying rape or sexual fantasies, or religious rituals to the point of LARPing, is too far. Mentioning that the bad guys raped, would be OK, but not go into a counseling session about it, or dwell on it. Yes, we talk about fictionalized violence and death, and killing “monsters”, but that we can put in context. I prefer a PG or at most R rating on roleplaying, and if young enough players are present, G rating.

The whole point of a game is to be fun. If the “fun” is in putting down or belittling someone else at the table, that’s not fun. I draw a distinction between sarcasm and put downs, and intentional hurt. Some who live on put downs and sarcastic humor have a hard time finding the point at which to draw the line. There are those who don’t like that type of humor, so their line is usually pretty obvious to all but the pathologically oblivious.

The internet and social media has made it easy for anonymous posters to be the ugly trolls that ruin it for the rest of us. Don’t feed the trolls is a good motto, hopefully they will lose interest and go someplace else without having to ban them, or seek legal action.

Don’t let the bastard get you down. Remember, the trolls rolled a one when it comes to having real love and real fun in their lives. We don’t have to play by their rules. I quit commenting on online discussions because my efforts to put things back on track just ended up making me a target. I just ignore commenting on things, or delete my response without sending, since the mere writing of a response got it out of my system.

I stick to commenting on RPG related stuff, and if I have something to say not about RPGs, I have a blog for that. A live, but obscure blog. I don’t link to it from here, to keep my gaming life separate from some of my thoughts and beliefs that at least one or more groups would disagree with and gum up the works here, and try to take me away from something fun.

As I said above, if you are playing games and it is not fun, you are doing it wrong.