I have been honored by some of my Twitter followers for my positive presence there.

On Twitter, I have been mentioned as one of the positive influences in the OSR, more than once in the last week.

I know that I am not perfect, and fail far too often for my liking at being a good person. It is far easier to present your best side online: Don’t try to argue with people, or discount their opinions or experiences.

I’ve tried to win arguments online, and one day a few years ago, realized it was a waste of effort. I might still write a rant about something to get it out of my system, but I rarely post them now. The things that bother me usually are not worth bothering other people about them.

However, this week has been quite the eye opener to the TTRPG crowd. We can learn from this, someone who is a horrible person online is more likely to be a horrible person.

We can’t stop people from being horrible. Their dysfunction, or whatever it is, can’t be cured with online discourse. Only someone with authority in their personal lives whom they truly respect has a shot at making that impact. Unfortunately, for some of these people, they are either their own echo chamber and masters of manipulation, or those who agree with their brand of nonsense flock to them forming an echo chamber.

An echo chamber is a good thing when it reinforces positive traits and experiences. However, the negative version of that is often that people in those negative groups don’t see or hear the dissonance as they are on a different channel. Their twisted ideas of right and wrong and self-justification shield them from the rest of the world.

My concern is how can we learn from this and keep those new to the online TTRPG experience safe from those who seek to cause trouble and outrage to promote their own agenda or products?

I want to focus on the positive. Making a sign saying stay away from X on every social media page only serves the purposes of those who seek any publicity. They fully believe that any publicity is good publicity. Please don’t feed the trolls.

I’m not about making a blacklist and curating it, that never ends well as those always end up influenced and controlled by those with the wrong motivations.

If we follow anyone online who is horrible to others, please unfollow them. Don’t mention or re-tweet their nonsense. Let their influence wain. Maintain a long memory so that in a few years they don’t make a sudden comeback sneaking in with a new crowd. This same problem exists among the charlatans and false prophets that are nearly all TV and radio preachers. Those that get exposed as frauds fall from sight, and in ten or fifteen years show up again.

Screenshot, Block, Report, and Ignore

Where physical safety and mental and emotional well-being permit, I recommend to screenshot and report those causing you grief online, then block, and ignore them. If they are the lowest level of jerks, this is usually enough. I blocked the most surly of the TTRPG people from all my socials a few months ago, and my feeds suddenly became brighter and more encouraging.

Online interactions need to be efficient. It is better to block someone at the first sign of nonsense and re-think it based on the experience of others than to put up with nonsense. All online communities of TTRPG people should oust anyone who displays disrespect to others. Make it clear that such behavior is not tolerated. Allow X number of chances, but whatever line you set, stand firm and expel and block them when they cross it.

Help and Encourage

For the very few that will learn from their mistakes, help and encourage them in their efforts to change. Keep the reins in check, however, in case they are not genuine in their change of heart, or not resolute in their determination to change.

Be the kind of person you want your online experience to be. If you want a fun and engaging online experience, be fun and engaging.

Modify Your Behaviors

I grew up with a strong sarcasm inherited from my father. I have struggled to keep it in check, as it is not always well received. A lot of my sarcasm is of the dissing or casting shade variety, and I find when I type it out, it doesn’t feel right, so I delete it before sending. Unfortunately, it is far too easy to let my mouth spew the stupid thoughts that springs to mind when face to face.

I have said things that have caused fresh acquaintances to look at me with questioning looks. Those first impressions are hard to overcome. It is the same online. If we spew venom and so forth online, that will be the first impression others have of us.

I try to be genuine to who I am and the way I am in real life, but I have found online, at least with a text based interaction, I more easily catch myself and say a lot less things that cause athlete’s esophagus.

Be Helpful

I like to help others, one reason I’ve had a tech support job for 21 years now. I was also a volunteer firefighter/EMT, and have mentioned a few times, was a pastor for ten years.

I don’t always have something helpful to add to a conversation. I’ve seen some posts by people I follow online about personal tragedy or personal connection to recent events in the news. I want to say something to them, but my words are inane and pointless. Nothing I say can fix it. So I click the like or heart emoji, and maybe post a gif.

As Thumper said, “If you can’t say sumthin’ nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.”

Honesty

Honest criticism of a game product should be proper criticism. That includes what you liked, and for what you didn’t how would you fix it or improve it?

A hospital chaplain once told me, “The truth hurts, bullshit kills.” [I had to take a unit of chaplain studies long ago, and was on the oncology floor of a hospital two days a week. I chose the oncology ward to deal with my own issues involving disease, death, and dying.]

At the same time, the truth does not need to be delivered in a cold and cruel or heartless manner. One can pick their words to speak the truth direct and true without being intentionally hurtful. For example, a victim of an online jerk deserves more careful phrasing than the online jerk. The jerk needs the most direct and concise explanation of what the issue is. If they are unteachable, block them.

Group Honesty

As a group, the TTRPG online community needs to be aware of the jerks who give TTRPGs a bad name. Publishers need to vet individuals and ensure their online presence is not that of jerk supreme before enshrining their names and ideas in various products. If someone is hurtful in one group, they must not be allowed to skulk around at the fringes of other groups.

There are those who claim allegiance and even that they are leaders and authorities on what is and isn’t OSR. The do it yourself mentality of the OSR is, “Oh, Yeah? To heck with you! I’ll do it my way!” and we ignore the jerks. Unfortunately, our ignoring the jerks has led to much chaos and trouble for those we failed to warn or shield from the crap. This has led to the jerks being the “face” of the OSR to many. Which has led to the OSR being generalized as a bunch of jerks.

I am part of the OSR, or consider myself as such. I found the OSR back in 2007 or 2008 when I started looking for game opportunities online. I started this blog in the summer of 2009. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel that I was able to do anything about the online jerks I encountered. I’m still not sure what I can do. How do you rally others to a cause who are content to let it slide?

They don’t want the hassle of dealing with things when they “poke the bear.” Other than anonymous reporting, how does one deal with such jerks? I’d have to unblock them and allow their nonsense into my life and wait for something worthy of reporting. [It should go without saying one should only report with evidence so that something is more likely to be done about them.] I really don’t want to do that, as I’ve got enough things in my life causing me stress. Some of the things I have mentioned online or on my podcast.

Input/Advice

What tried and true methods of dealing with online jerks actually works? I’m looking for proven methods to:

• Reform their behavior.
• Keep their nonsense from bothering others.
• Prevent the like minded from drawing encouragement to do likewise.
• Help those harmed by the jerks to prevent them leaving the hobby.
• Making this hobby a warm and welcoming place to meet like minded people who want to play!

Conclusion

I grew up when it was normal for it to be hard to find other players. If not for Roll20, I would not get to play regularly. I try to be a positive influence on the games I am in, both as a player and GM. Excluding people from the table to me is so antithetical to the idea of RPGs that I just can’t comprehend it.

Everyone who is a fan of TTRPGs should feel welcome to “pull up a chair at the table” and never have to worry about being judged or excluded as long as they are there to engage with the game and have fun. I invite you to help make that goal a reality.